2023 Recap

I usually know what I'm going to write by the time I sit down to type. But this year is different. Im not sure how to talk about this year. I think we need a “spotify recap” but for the GIFs we used in text messages to see a sum of our daily interactions.

Here are mine:

#1

#2

#3

I was praying about what to write and what not to write in this years wrap up. Sometimes I like to wake up early and read a passage from this C.S. Lewis reflection book and see if my mind can make sense of anything at all. I usually read it twice and have a “whoa,” moment or just give up completely. But one morning after praying about this blog post, I came upon one called, “Becoming Clean Mirrors.” This reminded me of a conversation with my best friend so I tried extra hard to be smart. To paraphrase in a very D.N. Goates fashion; the facts of our lives as christians are worth sharing when they are medium through which we gain better knowledge and understanding of the Lord and life, and THAT is worth sharing not just the facts themselves. So I would like to share some facts and some better understanding that came from them.

And so we begin. 

Part 1: FACTS

January:

*We brought baby Wally home. He was the cutest and quickly became the largest baby creature. There have been many tears shed over puppy teeth and destruction, and just as many snuggles, usually in the same hour. 

* Primary Bath shower floods for the first of 23948 times. All five of us start sharing the kids bath.

February: 

*Nora and Johnny turned one year older together, and were ever less willing to share their special day. I think it was the last time we will get away with a “pretend” party for Johnny without him knowing. 

*We took a winter trip to Mexico with kids and good friends. My phone frequently alerted me to truancy voicemails that were all ignored and promptly deleted with delight. 

*Papa made Johnny a workbench

March:

*I visited a homeschool group and fell in love with the community and decided to give it a whirl starting in August. 

*BLUEBONNETS

April:

*We learned that our lead pastor, (of our newly planted church of 6 months) was struggling with addiction.

He was given loads of support. 

* Porch Makeover

   

May-July: 

*Rob was working overtime at the church with the other staff guys and also started doing engineering consulting. 

*The Goatel was officially up on Airbnb and we were pleasantly surprised by how quickly it booked up. 

Dog Shed to Airbnb conversion

*We were too busy and also too hot.

*We went to a cave for a “cool-fun-surprise,” but we were actually just trying not to be hot for even an hour. 

*Bathroom Reno began. (check December for before and afters)

*I bought myself a BB Gun and shot at Deerlores (the mother doe) who was on our porch eating cat food and harassing Wally. (I keep it on top of the fridge now to be classy)

August: 

*We started homeschooling. It was a lot. Nora was never on board. Perry was on board and loved to, “presentate” on Fridays at homeschool group, usually about plants. We were making it work. 

*Johnny goes to preschool and loves his life. He wakes up most mornings and says, “What degrees is it?” “What’s for breakfast?” and, “Can we go to tractor supply today?” 

*The pastor was completely let go from the church and was in a different rehab facility. 

September: 

*Too busy. Homeschool was hard.

*Parents move in 7 minutes away!

*Went to the Wild & Free conference in Tenessee with a friend I met in birth class 10 years ago, many biscuits were consumed. Got to see a friend from highschool/college too who I hadn't seen in 10 years.

October: 

*Too busy. 

*Homeschooling was hard. 

*Kevin the cat disappeared. 

*Trip to Cloudcroft, NM and White Sands. 

*I realized something was off with Perry's reading. Turns out she has major dyslexia. 

*Paying for reading tutoring is approximately too many dollars. 

November: 

*I had a meeting with the public schools assistant principal and laid out why we left in the first place. She was somewhat reassuring. 

*We planned for the girls to go back to public school in January. 

*The search for a new pastor is underway. 

*Impromptu yard and garden fix up/ Wally ripped out the new sprinkler system. Twice. 

When we purchased in 2021

After/Not done yet

December: 

*Bubbles the cat disappeared. (Apparently coyotes are eating all the neighborhood cats.)

*We finally finished up the primary bath.

Before

     

PART TWO: Better Understanding of life and the Lord. 

Thoughts on Church

The pastor leaving and the reasons for it were devastating to say the least. Not just for us but the whole congregation. Some families left and that's understandable. But most families stayed. Some new people even joined because it seems the church is about Jesus and not the men talking about Jesus. Our congregation has weathered a huge storm and still stands. Our community group we meet with every Wednesday night has become family. Sharing meals together is some kind of simple God given magic. Do it. Don't delay.

You were meant for community. You will be sick without it. 

Thoughts on Homeschool

I am glad we tried. I wish somehow I would have had all these lovely revelations about schooling in Kindergarten. I think it was extra hard for us because they knew the big classroom life for so many years. Public school is fast paced and somewhat entertaining. Homeschool is mostly not that. More slow paced and make your own fun sort of thing. Homeschool kids have time to sit with their own minds and thoughts. I know adults who don't know how to "be alone," with themselves. So many can't spend time alone or can't sit in the quiet for fear of their own thoughts. Its a skill to learn for sure, I'm still working on it but what a gift to start learning so crucial a skill for mental healthiness at a young age.

I think it was said best by a mom in our homeschool group, “Every kid, every year.” What is best for that child’s personality at this time?  I would add, “Every mom, every year.” Can you do it this year? Maybe, maybe not. Kids on board seem to make it a lot more fun. I will carry over a couple things. Reading novels together was my number one favorite thing. Johnny is 4 and is listening to books a 6th grader would read. Don't be afraid to read over their heads. Just read and read a lot. Time is precious. I will treat after school time with the attention it deserves because I quite literally, “don't have all day,” to make the moments count. Follow their interests.

Community is key. For you and for them. You will be sick without it. 

Thoughts on Country Life

For whatever reason my first thought about working on our property is, “Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 5:3 Perhaps nature has beaten us into poor spirits. Good things are happening but it is slow and gradual and easy to lose hope when it moves too slow. Barn cats do actually need barns apparently. Rest in peace sweet Kevin and Bubbles. Rob and I have both dreamed about them which leads me to believe we have actually crossed over into cat lover territory. The Airbnb is fun to manage and humbling too. There’s nothing like cleaning up after complete strangers 1-2x a week to get your perspectives of yourself right. Gardening brings a lot of attention to seasons and I think for most of my life I have just labeled the seasons and changed my clothes accordingly. They are a rhythm we are to keep inside and out. Winter is for slowing down. Be free to rest for the spring ahead. 

Thoughts on God

Imagine if your faith were a tired mom with FOUR two year olds pulling at each arm and leg asking for more snacks 30 minutes out of every hour. That was this year. Faith is a stretchy thing. It has more give than you think and doesn’t depend on our internal resources ... and the choir said, “Amen.” My spirit was largely downcast this year. I lost many mornings of quiet and bible reading time to puppy shenanigans but still made time for it just more sporadically. I realized I had made a rule of what spending time with God had to look like and it seems because I didn't follow that rule that I also believed I couldn’t hear from God either. Thankfully I don’t actually make the rules on how God speaks and He spoke to me anyway. He spoke through: sunflowers, homeschooling and observing my children, marco polo messages, a podcast series on solitude, and Chapter 89 of the last book of the Wingfeather series. 

I hope you hear Him in a new way too. 

***

“It's been the kind of year I'd be fine if I forgot, yeah

But I'll never forget it as long as I live and that's saying a lot

The wildest menagerie of unfortunate crazy things and now it's all over

So raise up your glass, here's to brand new beginnings

And leave in the past all the things that are ending

'Cause tomorrow will bring us a new morning sun

My friends, I believe that the best is yet to come”

-Ben Rector

***

Books Read:

The New Testament

Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World (me)

Hummingbird (kids)

Wingfeather Saga Books 3&4 (for me and them)

The Dutch House (Let Tom Hanks read it to you on audible)

The Penderwicks (kids)

From the Mixed up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler (Kids)

The Poisonwood Bible (me)

Mere Motherhood (me)

A Place to Hang the Moon (kids)

Bridge to Terabithia (for my 4th grade self/kids)

***

Quotes/Things I now say:

“That’s a cute trailer” 

“Did you go back and check on that goat head stuck in the fence?” 

“Don't talk about coyotes eating your cats at school, it might make your friends sad.” 

“You have to wear shoes when you ride your tractor.”

“Sorry my dog ripped your chicken's wing off, is she ok?”

“Where did you move that dead deer? I need its teeth for homeschool group.”

***

Songs of the year (spotify playlist)

“We all March” Rob Goates

“Poetry” - Taylor Leonhardt

“Saints and Angels” Kings Porch

“Someday Soon” Wilder Woods

“The Best is yet to come” Ben Rector

***

Looking forward to:

Doing less and expecting less from myself and others.

The official opening of the Goatstead Gardens (feb/march)

Being more creative and seeking out beauty

Helping Nell find an assisted living apartment

Walking

CLEAN OPTIONS

I keep hearing of little girls, age 7-11ish, obsessing over skin care "regimens." 

One brand name in the headlines is Drunk Elephant. 

The real issue is WHY do these children think they need skin care at age 7?!  

THEY DO NOT. 

Let me be clear on that. Your child will be just fine with a simple wash in the bath or shower until they hit puberty or almost hit puberty and even then a clean wash and lotion is sufficient. 

I just took my oldest, almost 10 year old daughter to the pediatrician who informed me the NEW age of puberty for girls is 10 instead of when we grew up it was more like 12. I don't think the chemicals in our food or care products are doing us any favors. Phthalates, which are used to soften products or enhance fragrance, are known to cause early onset puberty. 

HOW DO YOU KNOW WHATS CLEAN???

I use the EWG app to screen products. I look for the EWG Verified circle or ratings in the 1, 2, and 3 ratings. I also look at beautycounter's never list and ingredients list to check the cleanliness of products. 

CLEAN IDEAS for your KIDS that wont break the bank:

***Face and shower soaps***

 your local farmers market is full of clean soaps. You can ask the makers themselves about the ingredients. You want fragrance from essential oils ONLY. Fragrance from essential oils will be listed out in the ingredients. The word, "fragrance" in the list can mean any of 1000s of chemicals (some linked to cancer and hormone disruption.)

Dr. Bronner bar soap. I like the unscented and citrus. $4 (I get ours at HEB in the health section)

Farmers Market Goats milk soap: $5-$10 

Honest Company Gentle Gel Cleanser $12  

Attitude Face Wash $15

Beautycounter's Counterstart Cream Cleanser is super clean and gentle $22

Beautycounter's Charcoal bar lasts a long time when just used for the face. $28 (Rob and I both have used this for years, use CLEANFORALL20 if you're a first time customer for 20% off)

 

Drunk Elephant Bar soap $28 (rating of 1 on EWG app) 

***Lotions***

Honest Co Face and Body Lotion $10

Tallow! Great option for everyone. A little goes a long way. I like Flying Cow brand.

Beautycounter's Counterstart Lotion $32 (for the most sensitive skin)

***Perfumes***

Henry Rose

Dime Fragrance

Beautycounter

***Shampoo + Conditioner***

Avalon Organics Rosemary Shampoo $8-$16 (love the shampoo but not the conditioner)

Odele Shampoo and Conditioner at Target- Ultra sensitive versions are the cleanest $12 each 

Prose (clean and personalized options)

Shea Moisture is clean and at Target. I like the leave in conditioner  and mousse for Perry's curls.

***Nail polish***

Ella + Mila

Olive and June ($9 at target)

Cote

Hope this helps keep those kids growing safer in this toxic world! 

2022 in Review

 “Do you want to come over? It’s muddy, don’t wear nice shoes.” 

This feels like my motto the last couple months. Before you jump into this:

imagine pulling up to a wire fence with wooden posts that have seen better days, covered in trees in some places, dried out vines in others, and a black mailbox that is slightly dented in the middle. The gate is open and you see a dirt path but no visible house and it all looks kind of… forgotten. Being the adventurer you are you decide to pull in, you wonder if that twig is gonna scratch your car, then you round a little bend and see signs of life… a kid tractor, a swing set, bikes, flowers that recently froze over and a house that someone started painting but didn’t finish. Your skepticism dies down a bit because your friend could probably live here. A cat sleeps on the front porch with no intention of looking for or killing creatures (minus the occasional venomous acorn, (he’s a vegan) and when he’s done with said acorn he will place it in your shoes you left outside because they were caked in mud). He opens one eye at you and wonders if you too are going to hold him upside down like the smallest person in this household does. No? Ok great, you may proceed. In you come, Welcome! It’s not as forgotten as you thought. They must have tried hard. Coffee? “Always!” you say because all the good people say that.

“Oh wow I haven’t seen a stove with coils since my childhood,” you think.

This feels like your grandma’s house a bit, in a good way. And then we sit down to chat. 

_____________________________

How do I recount a year where we changed everything? Rob calls this change our mid-life retirement because it feels like retirement compared the pace of life we were stuck in before this. I’m going to miss a lot of pieces, as my mind likes to hold onto random bits and send more logical pieces to the scrap pile. I pulled out an old CD case on one of our drives from Midland to Dripping and y’all I knew EVERY SINGLE word to 47 songs from my jr. high and high school days. Now when I try to recall something important it’s like, *icloud is full* but without the option to purchase more storage. Good thing I know the whole third eye blind album from ‘97 though …  just in case.

On June third we drove away from Midland. The same morning, the lady I had set up to clean the house that day called me and said, “I can’t clean this, there are too many people here working, and trash and dust everywhere.” The contractor led us to believe that he was done with the floors, fireplace and paint. He was not. And so we moved into an actual disaster area. (Note: my mother-in-law and her sister are saints and cleaned as much as they could before we got there) And more fun than paint and dust was a cricket infestation, broken shower and kitchen sink. Rob unpacked the uhaul and went back to Midland where he would work during the week until October. The kids were with my parents for the first week and so I joined the work crew painting mostly. “No Miss, we do it” False. Give me a paint brush. People were in and out for most of the summer.  I finally just said I would paint the rest so people would be out of my house. 

We joined the YMCA or as Johnny calls it the “Wyatt See Eight” and started a daily rhythm of “mom works out for an hour in hopes of being too tired the rest of the day to lose her mind”  followed by an hour of pool time where I got a new sunspot on my face.  We walked the land a lot, I found my pear trees and my hope that this was all gonna work out somehow. I began the endless rounds of cleaning construction dust from the walls and floor just to wake up to a new layer that had settled in. I would find myself standing barefoot at the bathroom sink at night with my toes curled under me. Unconsciously, my body was telling me this place couldn’t be trusted, it was trying to keep itself from the dust and hidden creatures waiting to suddenly appear. The worst thing about crickets is not that they are terrifying but that they jump and scare you. There was one in the girls’ closet and Nora stayed up almost the whole night for fear that it would “get her.” Another night Nora was thirsty due to her, “awake too long due to bug and lizard fear (oh yeah there were geckos all over the house too)” and I told her not to turn the lights on, just walk down the hall and grab her water. I went down the hall minutes later and realized by God’s grace she hadn’t noticed the THREE crickets in the hallway. After a couple rounds of pest control the crickets ceased to jump in our faces unexpectedly. That’s when the ants showed up.

We have a vaulted ceiling in the living room with a wooden beam down the center. It was infested with carpenter ants. You could see them come out during certain times of the day, thousands of them turning the brown beam black in little rippling pools as they crawled on top of each other. We cut the trees back away from the roof. Pest control came back out, and sprayed them. Then inevitably, what goes up must come down. Ants fell and covered my window sills, kitchen table, piano, and occasionally landed on people. The kids would come to ask me a question and I would act like I was lovingly playing with their hair while actually picking out little ants. We treated the beam over and over. It took months to get rid of them. 

 

Summer:

Summer ended. We went to meet the teacher night and by God’s hand we met exactly the right people. Rob said hello to a worship leader at another church, whose wife then introduced me to a neighbor of mine, who then introduced me to another neighbor of ours. All of the sudden I had people again. I was invited to little gatherings from generous Christ loving women over and over, and with that gratitude I started to invite people over, over and over. To my surprise everyone said yes. I would push the newly fallen ants behind the piano, vacuum them off the rug right before they got here and prayed no one would find surprises in their hair when they got home. Midland taught us that community is everything. It’s the whole reason we moved really. To bring that kind of community to Dripping Springs. And that meant letting people into my mess of a property, my sky-diving ant infested mess of a house, and my skittish of new people heart. 

I cried when I dropped the girls off at school. All dressed up and brave walking into a new place. 

I dropped Johnny off too, shocked at how well he just walked right in and didn’t seem to mind watching me leave. Suddenly the house was quiet again and I had seven years worth of work to begin. I decided to clean up the leaves that had piled around the house and flower beds. I didn’t get too far before a new shock of country life hit me. I pulled back a pile of leaves and disturbed a bed of baby snakes that then exploded in every direction. I called Rob and asked him to bring back some baby cats. Little did we know that boy cats are not the hunting kind. Here we enter Bubbles and Kevin, brother cats that have no purpose other than entertaining our children. Welcome snakes. You are safe here.

And so a new normal began. And church began again. Never have I been with a group of people so consistently that all had the same goal and dream: to bring hope and Jesus to a community. We gathered just us (and our 11 children, now 12) and dreamed and prayed together and then opened the doors and have since just watched God move. It’s been a thing of beauty to watch a new church unfold. New people come in that you introduce yourself to and then talk with and then have dinner with and then cry with too.  It’s been amazing to watch Rob walk away from oil and gas and live out his God given gifts of leadership and music. He’s just so naturally good at it. We’ve gotten to sing together consistently for the first time in 9 years. He’s written some amazing songs already. I could not be more proud of him saying, “yes” to a very different life for himself and for his family. Pictures below are him leading worship and baptizing the girls a couple weeks ago.

I still like to underachieve. But now I see it as a personality trait called “You must fail… but just a little bit.”

Exhibit A: I led worship at Redeemer Round Rock and it was one of those times where I was like man, that went so well. The Spirit was there and I was unhindered by my own nervousness. I got in the car and realized I had scratched a bug bite and had blood smeared very visibly across my entire calf, just below the hem of the dress I was wearing. 

Exhibit B: You know when you are trying to get a pony tail just right? You grab your hair up, nope that's not it, new grab. Ah! That’s the money grab! Cute pony-tail self. Your gray stripe looks so cool too, great job, go meet those new friends with your cutie hair. Again… get in the car afterwards and realize the cutie hair also included a very long rat tail hanging out the back. 

Exhibit C: I had three large babies, and with that came large bulging varicose veins. I finally got them fixed and all went well. How can you fail at this Danielle? Well, let me tell you. First the compression sock you must wear post procedure for 3 weeks comes with little plasticy grabbers at the top to keep it from sliding down. Wouldn’t you know that I would be allergic to those little plasticy bastards?! So not only does my leg feel 500 lbs but I also have 500 bright red hot spots on my thigh that burn like fire. Easy fix: just wear it inside out… and have it slip down your leg, all day every day. But wait there’s more. This year I figured out I was under-eating. And so I began to eat like I should have been and ta-da I felt a lot better and ta-da I gained 10 pounds, which is fine with me except it was not fine with my jeans. Especially already too tight jeans with a demon compression sock under them. We have one great clothing store here in Dripping so I set out on a mission to find some new jeans. Now if you haven’t worn a compression sock, one, good for you and your eternal youth genes, two, you must know getting one on is enough to make you sweat, get a side cramp, and say some bleeped out words. So here I am in the dressing room and I’m like I can’t try these jeans on with this sausage leg stuffed in a sock! So I take it off to try on pants. All is well, I go up a size and they fit like magic. But now I am in a tiny dressing room with a CURTAIN not a door and I have to shove a swollen bruised leg BACK into the demon sock. Do you remember Swiss Family Robinson where they fight the giant snake in the water? That was me with my leg in that dressing room. My foot was coming out and kicking around under the bottom of the curtain into the walkway as I wrestled that beast of a leg into sock submission. Bless those that had to see that foot thrashing around Lord God in your great mercy. 

Fail. Just a little bit, it keeps you humble. 

If you have made it this far, we're best friends now. Please come over and see us and I’ll show your kids all of our creatures and tell you my garden plans whether you want to hear them or not. Bring shoes you don't care about, it will be fun. You can stay in the tiny house (that will be on air bnb sometime soon). It all feels like home these days, my feet are flat on the floor now. I’m wearing my footsteps into new patterns and more intentional rhythms of life. There’s a lot of peace at the Goatstead, whether it be on the porch or in the middle of the forest and I know it’s not just for us. It’s for you too. You are welcome here. 

Songs/Albums of Year:

Medium Tempo - Rob Goates

Anywhere With You- Mat Kearney

Dreaming in Electric Blue - Dave Barnes

When the lights Go Out- Patrick Droney

It’s our time- The Light the Heat

Weatherman- Wild Rivers

Most listened to Album:

Anywhere with You- Mat Kearney (seriously every song is good)

Books Read:

The Old Testament 5/5

Messy Minimalism 4/5

The ruthless elimination of Hurry 5/5

The God of the Garden ⅘

Take Back Your Family ⅘

Water From my Heart ⅗

Good time Charlie 5/5 (My Dad wrote this book!!)

Books still reading:

Atomic Habits

Habits of the Household

The Call of the Wild and Free

Raising Worry Free Girls 

How to Heal Your Metabolism

Books read to Kids:

City Family Farm Family

North or Be Eaten: Wingfeather Saga

Willodeen

Looking forward to:

Wally the Golden Retriever puppy gets here in January! 

Cutting off the rest of my colored hair, Natural Janet all the wayyyyyyy

Kitchen and Master Bath remodel + whatever else we can manage

The Goatstead Garden

Chickens?

Dates with Rob on Friday mornings

Time outside 

When you come visit me 

Reading the New Testament (Bible recap reading plan starting Jan 1 - Join me!)