2019 was a doozy. I started out very pregnant and gave birth to our first boy on Nora's 5th birthday. It was my easiest labor and delivery and my tiniest baby at only 8.5 lbs (2 weeks early) Then some days later, Perry broke her arm ... the one she didn't break last year. Most of this year was a blur so this post
might be a quick read.
I think my whole mindset shifted in a lot of ways this year. When you have three kids, five and under, you kind of don't have a choice. Instead of "underachieving" like last year I pretty much just "achieved." I said yes to more things but did them more simply. I signed up for the kids parties... but I brought plates and napkins. I bought a stash of birthday gifts on amazon so I wasn't going out to buy things for every party. I made more meal plans and planned ahead for foods (ish). I put myself down early for bed (9:30pm) I even started working out
5x a week... because I let go of the notion I had to go somewhere (even though I still would love to) and just do it at my house when Johnny is napping because its simpler that way.
I love simple. Too much stuff is not simple... its managing, cleaning up, rearranging and organizing junk that we don't even need. I've given away half of my closet. I'm still working on the other half. There's still a lot in there but I've been hoarding things for 10+ years. I'm talking shirts that only fit bodies years before they thought about babies. I know this is very Marie Kondo of me but I'm for real. I don't waste time thanking my clothes because... they are clothes. Bye.
Now let's talk about toys. I really do hate toys y'all. Hate is strong word. That's why I'm using it. My kids
had three toy boxes and a playroom full of toys. They played consistently with 10 things. Those being a karaoke machine, dress up clothes, some stuffed dogs, american girl dolls and the toy stroller. THAT'S IT. But to get to all those things they were digging through mounds of other
crap toys that they just cast aside repeatedly.
So we have had multiple rounds of giving away toys and are in a much better place. They threw fits and cried over toys they haven't touched in years but once they were out of sight they were forgotten again. Just in time for Christmas. I recently listened to a
podcast by Dr. Denaye Barahona of Simple
Families about "Too many toys" I loved the framework she
set up about acquiring new toys to help her kids think about the toys. Heres a
snippet:
"...I’m
also really mindful of the fact that the way that I buy for my kids is teaching
them. It’s teaching them how to make decisions about bringing materials into
their life, and I want them to be intentional about it. So we talk about the
decisions. How often are you going to play with this? How many different ways
can you use this? How durable is this? How long is it going last? What’s gonna
happen to it after we’re done with it? Is this something about we’re going to
be able to pass on to another family, where perhaps it just won’t be
interesting to kids because it involves a character that is losing popularity
and is going to be pretty much unknown after your child is done playing with
it.
When
you buy toys more intentionally, you can back load the joy on the toys, and
that means you might be buying something like a good set of wooden unit blocks
that aren’t necessarily going to light your kid up with joy when they open it
on the morning of their birthday, but the joy is going to come out slowly over weeks,
over months, over years, as they learn new creative ways to use these toys. I
don’t know about you, but that’s what I want to teach my kids about bringing
new things into their life. I want them to buy more intentionally. I want them
to buy things that are going to be useful and durable, to last for years rather
than something that’s just going to get them excited and happy for a few
moments. I truly think it’s never too early to start teaching that."
So what do my kids do if they are not playing with toys? They are outside playing with dirt, grass, rocks, and riding scooters. If they are inside they are usually coloring or cutting up paper and string, using up all my tape and creating disasters. I love this. They are being creative.
This next part is hard for me but I believe in it.
Experiences over things. I'm a homebody and could be fine not doing the "cool thing" that everyone else is doing. 1. Because I'm fine, good for you, no FOMO here. 2. Kids are hard to drag around places. I read a quote from a mom this year that said "You can't take your kids somewhere, spend money on them and expect them to have a good time. That's not how it works." So maybe that's not true all the time but a lot of the times, it is. Johnny got sick Christmas day and I felt like I missed the whole Christmas experience with the girls. I found the Color Factory and knew this was a must.
I've realized that I'm tried of pretty pictures on instagram. They are lovely, but I'm tired of them. I'm tired of perfectly staged rooms, and perfectly matching and posed kids. Maybe it's because my real life doesn't and can't look like that and why should it? Do I even want it to? Not really. So here's to pictures of our well thought out and lovely homes in their natural states and children in their mismatched clothes and hair that needs to be brushed not looking at the camera or smiling but having fun doing whatever they are doing... and us taking
that pretty picture without interrupting them to say "smile" "stand closer" and "move over there" etc. Obviously this isn't always going to happen but I think it can a lot more.
Lastly, I have really enjoyed
not eating paleo this year! Man, you people with all your gluten are really living it up. I mean it. I have a couple months left of nursing, call me let's eat bread together.
Books:
Lilac Girls
Daring Greatly
Song/s of the Year
Its easier just to make a
playlist. These our favorites... Mine and Rob's and some of the girls too. But our kids probably know the words to all of them.
My theme of year: Let it go // Experiences over things (... except for vintage rugs)
Side Gigs: Doing some photography mostly of some really
beautiful homes! Some friends' kiddos here and there too. Still loving
beautycounter! Ever remember me talking about my red beard? (read: face so dry it hurts) Well its gone thanks to
this and
this. Also everyone's
favorite is 45% off right now.
Quote of the year: from Perry talking my next door neighbor (and one of my best friends) who had just finished mopping and was cleaning a vent...
"My mom never cleans. She just pays people to clean. She has lots of money, do you not have money?"
"I have money I just choose to spend it on different things"
"Yeah that why we had to choose some toys to give away to poor humans like you that don't have money or tickets. I put my toy cat in there. Its broken but you'll still like it"
I'm not even going to try to defend myself. Its the best worst thing I have ever heard.
Happy New Year!
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| Happy New Year from us in 1980s // Photo By: Finch Media Co |
